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One Year Later: Healing, Solidarity, and the Truth About Dating Eric Matthew Swan

  • Writer: Clarissa
    Clarissa
  • 1 day ago
  • 3 min read
Beware of Eric Swan.
Healing. Comfy. At peace. Loved.

One year ago, I published Don’t Blame Yourself for Not Leaving Sooner — a deeply personal account of surviving emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of Eric Matthew Swan. I was terrified. I questioned everything. But I told the truth.


Since then, something extraordinary has happened: women began reaching out. They thanked me for naming what they hadn’t yet been able to. They shared their own stories — stories that echoed mine in chilling detail. The messages were different, but the pattern was always the same.


That’s when I realized: this wasn’t just my experience.

This is pattern.


The Impact of Naming the Abuse


Speaking out was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But almost immediately, I discovered the power of truth. I woke up lighter. I woke up at peace.


Since the publishing of www.bewareofericswan.com, dozens of women came forward— some still in contact with Eric, others who had escaped and carried years of silence. Women described the same tactics I had survived:

  • Love-bombing

  • Gaslighting

  • Financial instability

  • Emotional rage

  • Silent treatment

  • Threats and control


Here’s just one message that stuck with me:

“Thank you so much because I wasn’t feeling worthy of true love. I put so much out to get nothing in return.”

How many of us have felt this way? Too many. That is why I continue speaking.


The Narcissist’s Playbook, Exposed


He follows a textbook pattern — one rooted in deep insecurity. Eric has unresolved issues with his mother, is estranged from his children, and has no true friends. Beneath the mask, he is fragile and profoundly insecure. Deep down, he knows he isn’t as intelligent as he pretends to be, so he overcompensates with arrogance, volatility, and blame — most often directed at women.


Eric Matthew Swan isn’t unique. He represents a pattern seen in many insecure, controlling men who mistake domination for strength and project their shortcomings onto others instead of facing themselves.


He targets strong, self-sufficient women and breaks them down over time, using intermittent validation and emotional manipulation to establish control. His inability to sustain financial independence becomes a tool. His volatility becomes a weapon. His charm? A calculated mask.


He doesn’t understand that respect comes from caring deeply about others, not instilling fear of unpredictable behavior. He confuses control with love, and dominance with worth.


The Pattern Continues


One year later, I can confidently say: he hasn’t changed.


Still bitter. Still financially dependent. Still chasing women he can use to validate a crumbling sense of self-worth. Still obsessed with control and perception, not substance or love.


Women are still reaching out to me. Their stories differ in detail but not in design.

I’ve been told Eric was recently seen in southern Oregon. If you encounter someone who fits this description and behavior, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.



For the Women Still in It


To the woman who is reading this and still feels stuck — whether emotionally, financially, or psychologically — please hear me:

You are not weak. You are not stupid. You are not alone.


Abusers like Eric condition you to believe that you are the problem, that your fear is your fault, that leaving would be a failure.That is a lie.


Real love does not feel like walking on eggshells.Real relationships are not built on punishment and silence.


You can leave. You can rebuild. You can heal.


You Are Not Alone — Resources That Can Help


If you’re beginning to recognize the pattern, know that help exists. Here are trusted, confidential resources:


Start by learning. Then take action — when you’re ready, not when someone else says you should.


This Is Not Revenge. This Is Truth.


This article — like the one before it — isn’t written out of bitterness.

It’s written for liberation.

For myself.

For every woman he’s used, discarded, or gaslit.

For the women who are still doubting their worth.

Truth is not vindictive.

Truth is freeing.

I’m no longer afraid of what happens when I speak.I’m more afraid of what happens if I don’t.


To Every Woman Reading This:


You deserve peace.You deserve respect.You deserve safety.You deserve a love that nurtures — not a force that drains.


You deserve a life that is fully, unapologetically yours.


We do not exist to be controlled.

We do not exist to make broken men feel whole.

We speak. We heal. We conquer.

And we are not going back.


Your Fellow Survivor,

xo


IG: @bewareofericswan

 
 
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